Economics and Politics, Society & Culture, Strictly Humorous

The Ink Wars Part I

Once upon a time, in a land far far away lived a noble man. They called him the one eyed sage of golden land. He was courageous and well noble ( I have a feeling I already said that.) So the sage thought he could change the world, or at least the important part of it anyways, by teaching people to bend their bodies in way unimaginable to invoke the holy power which resides inside everyone. Soon people hailed him as their messiah, or at least some sort of cheap healer. It wasn’t that important to him. He was famous. Then came along an aged knight who was on search for holy grail for too long. So the knight got too tired and decided he would make the grail come to him instead. People thought it was very cool of him. Suddenly the knight was more famous than the one eyed sage. Of course the grail had other plans so she never did go to the knight. But well, people thought it was still cool. One eyed sage was immensely put off by the whole deal. He decide he would help the knight wait for the grail. He faced a peculiar problem however. People had already learned how to bend their bodies. So there was no need for him anymore. Still in spite of heavy odds he pulled on. He walked alone.

Meanwhile because people were all merry and happy, all the healers were royally pissed. They had kids who had to be fed. A man peculiarly started hating the one eyed sage. This was a guy who had no family, had no place to go, and most importantly nothing better to do. He decided, the children of the healers had suffered a lot. Someone had to throw light in the situation. Hey! Throw- Light- Kill-Light. Obviously like a divine intervention, he knew, the only way to save the world was to throw – hold a breath ( dramatic pause) INK!!!! ( dum- dum-da- da …. dum- dum-da-da! Continue till evil grin)

After long permutations and calculations, a plan was hatched. He was alone in the dark. He walked through the crowded busy roads, smelly armpits all around him, he walked. With a bottle of ink that will save the world, or a small part of it, he walked. Like a man inspired to create legacy of the level of an i-pod, he walked. His target was very near him now. He could hear his manic laughter as he spoke on the speaker. His saliva was flying, and the demonic one eye looking straight. The monster had found out!! There was no time, it had to be done. In slow motion he threw the ink on the sage. SPLASH!! It was all over the sage’s face. There was silence. Then the hell broke lose. They apprehended the man and tortured him for hours by making him watch Justin Bieber making out with Pattinson. Finally he gave in after they decided to put lady gaga in the background. It was revealed that afterall, the real king pin of the plan was someone else. Before they could get the name out of him, someone shot him with a covered statue. They said one look at the statue could kill anyone and there were thousands of them to be gotten rid off. The man died saying two words. Diaper & Pizza. It was enough for a man of sage’s experience to figure out that the real culprit was the snotty loser, Diaper Prince! ” Just you wait Diaper Prince! I will get my revenge soon! Muha ha haha, get me some ink boys. Its time to wet a diaper.”

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To be continued….

Next part- Revenge of the Sage.

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